bound by the heart
by tatty ted
Summary: Nick bumps into Kirstie after all these years. - —Nick/Kirstie. Alternative ending for the episode; "Life goes on,"


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**bound by the heart**  
_and nothing is what it seems,_

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It's official, he's leaving.

He probably won't return to Holby but he can't rule it out. He always says that when he leaves this place, he always say he isn't coming back but he does. He's attracted to this place that magnets to metal, it's irresistable.

No, he's going as of today, he's leaving, he's going travelling.

He doesn't know if he's sad about that. Sad to be leaving a place where so many happy memories had been created. Or happy because there were bad memories too, negative memories that make his happy memories seem a little — he sighs, he doesn't know.

He met Yvonne here. Yvonne died here.

He met Kirstie here. Kirstie left here.

This place ruined his reputation. It was here he sorted his reputation.

There's both. Good memories, bad memories, memories he wished he could forget, memories he wanted to keep forever. He doesn't know where he'll go from here, from Holby. He hasn't thought about where he's going to go or what he's going to do, he's just realised there's a life out there that needs to be lived a little.

Some people don't have the chance to experience life because they die.

He's walking around the ED on his last shift knowing he wouldn't really miss the patient or the building or the area. The people he'd miss most would be the people he considered to be part of his family, his staff, the wonderful people he'd worked with for god knows how long.

He bumps into someone, sending everything to the floor. They both bend down to pick up the papers, "I'm sorry, I should really watch where I'm going."

The woman's voice is soft and sweet and she hands Nick his papers back. It's only then, as they both stand up and stare at each other they realise who each other are. He frowns, no. No, it can't be. It's been years since she was last here.

"Kirstie?"

"Nick?"

In that second, they both remember the good times and the bad times they had together, in this hospital. She didn't know he still worked here and he wondered why she was here, what brought her back to Holby all these years?

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

There's a pause and he holds the file closer, "I work here,"

Now it's her turn to pause and she shifts uneasily on both feet. As she glances around the unfamiliar yet familiar surroundings, she meets his eye and answers; "My daughter was brought in this morning, she's been visiting her father, it's taken me all morning to reach her."

"Your daughter?"

Kirstie nods. She understands he's shocked because she never came across as the maternal type. She was always too ambitious, career driven to ever have a break to raise children. She didn't expect herself to have children either, it was something that happened but she wouldn't change her three girls for nothing.

Nick immediately resorts to Doctor mode, ignoring the feelings that bumping into Kirstie had dragged up, again.

"What's she called?"

"Holly, Holly Collins. This is her sister Jess." It was only then, at that minute that Nick notices the toddler gripping onto Kirstie's hand. He smiles at her, she's a spitting image of Kirstie with her brown hair and brown eyes.

"I'll find out where she is for you." As he walks off, he feels a mixture of emotions that he doesn't really know how to cope with.

/

Kirstie's daughter, Holly Collins had been brought in after an asthma attack. She'd become unconscious and had been taken to ICU. Nick knocked on the door and opened it slowly. Kirstie was sat by her daughter's bedside, her other daughter Jess lying next to her sister.

"Kirstie?"

There was a sniff and Kirstie wiped away the tears that had seemed to stream down her cheeks. She hadn't even noticed she was crying and Nick closed the door behind him and edged towards her, "How is she?"

There was a choked sob and Nick sighed. He dragged a chair towards her and sat down, "Hey, Kirstie, she's going to be okay,"

"She, she, might not be." He gently took her hand in his and gave it a reasurring squeeze, "Of course she will! She's your daughter Kirstie, no doubt she'll have your personality, your stubborn and you're a fighter. She will be too."

She nodded slowly, still trying to stop the tears. She didn't want him to view her as weak but he didn't. He saw a concerned mother worried about the wellbeing of her daughter, "Are Holly and Jess the only two you've got?"

"No," she looked at Holly, then Jess, then back at Holly for a moment, "I've got an eight year too, she's called Lindsey. What about you, did you ever settle down?"

Nick laughed. Settle down, him? He always wanted too but he never found the right woman. Then he did, he found her, Yvonne and he really was going to settle down. He wanted to get married, he wanted children. He wanted to experience those things with her, until it was too late.

"No, I never found the right woman." He confessed and swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat. It didn't go un-noticed by Kirstie but she didn't comment on it, she just left a silence between the two.

"What brought you back here? I thought you were done with this place?"

"I was," he smiled, "it found me and I guess I came back."

She was about to say something when his pager went off. They made eye contact before he apologised and she told him not to be silly, he should go. It could be important. He smiled and left, closing the door behind him, still in a flutter about everything.

/

"What?"

He didn't know if he heard right the first time, the proposition she'd made him. He stood in the middle of a packed Emergency Department, his eyes fixed on the woman he'd not seen for years and yet felt like he'd only seen yesterday,

"Come with us, me and the girls. Move to America with us."

"I can't, I'm sorry."

She nodded. She understand and she accepted he couldn't make that decision yet. Instead, she scribbled her name and phone number down on a piece of paper and handed it to him, "You know what to do if you change your mind."

/

She doesn't think he will but he surprises her, he does.

He rings up, the day before they're due to fly out, "Room for one more?"

He knows he has to take the chance and go. This is his chance to live life with no regrets, to never worry about anything. Life must go on, he knows that now but maybe deep down, he's scared of taking such a step because there's nothing and no-one holding him back.

He knows he'll never forget Yvonne, or Holby but he can't wallow in self-pity forever.

He's going to go with her, with Kirstie and her children and see if it was meant to be. If they were meant to be.

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**jottings** / alternative universe for _life goes on_, yes i am aware nick's out of character and kirstie but pfft, i loved their relationship in holby, it was wonderful. like it enough to favourite/alert, don't forget to leave a review, thanks:3


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